


Strong Enough

by Livingonaprayerstiel



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Boxer AU, Dirty Talk, Feelings, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Multi, Period-Typical Homophobia, Rimming, Skinny!Steve, Winter Soldier!Bucky, handjobs, mentions of abuse, smut later, virgin!steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-14 09:14:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2186073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livingonaprayerstiel/pseuds/Livingonaprayerstiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is a waiter at a diner who always wants to stand up for his friends. When Bucky, a famous boxer, steps in one night, Steve's life changes forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Steve Rogers was not a violent person. He could hardly hurt a fly, let alone another human being. Still, somehow, he found himself trying to throw punches at some bully in the back alleys behind the diner almost every night. Tonight, it had been because this idiot had been harassing his coworker, Peggy. It wasn't that she couldn't take care of herself, but Steve lived by a code and that was standing up for people in any situation because other people couldn't always be counted on in a crisis. So, he had made it his business to be the one to take charge. Unfortunately, even at age 20, he was only 5' 4” and 90 pounds. This put him at an extreme disadvantage when it came to standing up to other guys his age. And that was how he found himself, on his ass, in the mud behind the diner.  
“Don't you know when to give up?” the thug asked, cracking his knuckles menacingly.  
Shaking his head to clear it, Steve got back up, “I could do this all day.” But before he could take another swing, another figure had come down the alley, grabbed the other guy by the collar and thrown him back onto the ground.  
“Get outta here!” a deep voice said as the figure yanked up the bully and kicked him back up the alley, “And stay gone.”  
“Thanks,” Steve muttered, running the back of his hand over his bloodied lip, “You didn't hafta...”  
“I know,” the figure cut in, “But I thought I oughta. You look like you can take care of yourself but, it's not fair, ya know? One guy so much bigger than the other,” the stranger began walking out of the alley, Steve following close behind him. Once they were out in the street, the stranger turned so that Steve could get a good look at him. He looked just as beat up as Steve was, maybe more. Even so, he was very handsome. His dark brown hair hung down to his shoulders, framing a strong jaw. He had large grey eyes that shone brightly under the streetlamp, despite the large shiner he was sporting on his left eye. His nose also looked as if it had only recently stopped bleeding. It also had that crooked look that made Steve think that it had been broken several times. The stranger held out a hand, “Bucky Barnes. Nice to make your acquaintance.”  
“Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier? The boxer?” Steve stammered, taking Bucky's hand and shaking it tentatively, “I- I'm a huge fan. Um... My name's Steve. Steve Rogers. I work in the diner here... Listen to your fights on the radio all the time. What, uh, what brings you to Brooklyn?”  
Bucky's lips turned up in a small smile and Steve's heart leapt in his chest, “Born and raised. But, at the moment, doing some small fights. Sometimes it's nice to be away from the big crowds,” he pulled a pack of cigarettes from the inside pocket of his leather coat, just as it started to drizzle, “Wanna light?” he asked.  
Steve shook his head, “No thanks... um, asthma.”  
Bucky lowered his lighter, “Oh, then I'll wait,” he took the cigarette out of his mouth, “So, Steve, what's a guy like you doin' fighting a guy who's twice your size behind a diner?”  
“Guy like me?”  
Bucky shrugged, “Clean cut.”  
He rolled his eyes, knowing that Bucky was only being polite, not mentioning his scrawny physique, “That asshole was making moves on Peggy and she kept telling him to stop and he wouldn't. I hate guys like that, with no respect for a woman... or anybody for that matter. Don't matter who they are, no is no.” Steve could feel his lungs tightening as he got riled up. Talking about these things always got him angry. So, he stopped and began taking deep breaths. But he couldn't help but notice that Bucky was watching him intently. His eyes were so bright, Steve felt as though he was staring straight through him.  
“Peggy your girl?” Bucky asked.  
Now it was Steve's turn to smile, “Nah, she's my best friend. Nothing more. We work in the diner together.” It had really started to rain now and Steve had begun to shiver in the cold.  
Bucky pulled off his leather jacket and the button up underneath, leaving himself only in a cotton undershirt. Donning his leather jacket again, he handed the button up to Steve, “Here, put this on or you're gonna freeze. Hope it doesn't smell too much like smoke.”  
Steve put the shirt on, inhaling deeply. There was a faint smokey smell, but it mostly smelled like sweat and cologne, “Thanks,” he said, “Um, I should get back to work.”  
“'kay,” Bucky said, turning towards the diner, “Maybe I'll come back and visit sometime, Stevie. You're a cool guy, standing up for your friend.” As he made his way towards the door, Steve made to take off Bucky's shirt, but Bucky put a hand on his shoulder, the warmth of his hand heating Steve's entire body, “Keep it. You need something dry or you'll take sick.”  
Steve looked up and met Bucky's gaze, “Thanks, Mr. Barnes. It was a pleasure to meet you.”  
“Gosh, Steve, you don't gotta be so formal. Bucky. Please. And the pleasure is mine. Honest.”  
“Uh...” he stammered, “Then, thanks Bucky. Maybe I'll see you around.”  
“Yeah,” Bucky said as Steve opened the diner door, “I'll see you around.”  
Peggy rushed to meet Steve at the door, “Steve! Are you alright? Who was that guy?”  
Steve looked out the glass door at Bucky. He had turned his collar up to guard against the rain and was taking shelter under the awning of the diner. The cigarette was back in his mouth and lit now, a long trail of smoke unfurling into the wet night. It was almost hypnotizing for Steve to watch. He could feel a warmth, that had nothing to do with being inside a heated building, beginning to spread through his body. His heart was also beating far too fast to be good for him, considering his arrhythmia. He looked back at Peggy, “He's Bucky Barnes, one of the most famous boxers in the world. And... I think we just became friends.” He gazed back out the window. Bucky was down to the filter of his cigarette now, taking it out of his mouth and flicking it to the ground. He turned around and threw a little wave Steve's way, accompanied by a smug smile, before turning towards the subway station to head downtown.  
“Looks a little more than friendly,” Peggy said softly.  
Steve blushed and looked away without waving back. Maybe he did want to be more than friendly. Especially with the way Bucky's smile affected him and how he had said he'd come back to visit. But he knew his odds were ten to none on that one. He was tiny, not much to look at, just a boy, and Bucky was a man, strong and beautiful, even with his bruises and scrapes. Sighing, Steve got back to work, but the whole rest of the evening his thoughts were filled with what he would do if Bucky came back.


	2. Chapter 2

It turned out that he didn't have to wait long to find out. The very next evening, Steve looked up when the bell at the door chimed as it was pushed open. In walked Bucky, looking as beat as ever. The shiner over his left eye was tinged green now, but there was a fresh bruise ghosting over his right cheekbone. He shot Steve a wide smile, sitting down at a booth.  
“You wanna take that one?” Peggy asked as she passed by the counter. Steve didn't say anything, but a blush had begun creeping up his neck and cheeks as he deliberately avoided Bucky's gaze. Peggy didn't wait for an answer before shoving a menu and a fresh place setting into his hands and muttering, “Go get 'im.”  
Walking swiftly up to the booth where Bucky was sitting, Steve set the placemat and silverware and handed him the menu, “Hi there,” he mumbled, “My name is Steve and I'll be taking care of you this evening...” he trailed off when he noticed that Bucky's smile had only widened. He then realized how what he had said must have sounded and felt his blush intensify, “I mean- It's nice to see you again, Bucky. What can I get you? Coffee? Tea?”  
Bucky leaned back in his seat, slinging an arm over the back of the booth, “Just water is fine, thanks. As for food,” he glanced at his menu, “You still make omlets this time of night?” Steve nodded, “Alrighty then, I'll get a three egg omelet with cheddar and bacon, please.”  
“I'll put that right in,” Steve said, turning to leave.  
“Also,” Bucky called to his back, “When do you get off?”  
“Um...” Steve said, glancing at the clock. It was only seven thirty. Technically, he worked until eleven, “Sorry, not for a-”  
“He can get off anytime tonight,” Peggy called from the back, “I'll cover. What time do you need him?”  
Steve squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment. Luckily, the diner was pretty empty so no one overheard. Really, he needed to talk to Peggy about how open she was about his personal business. He turned around to apologize to Bucky, but he really did need to work late, when Bucky spoke.  
“Well, I got a fight at nine,” he drawled, “if you'd like to go. You said you were a fan, right?” Steve gulped and nodded slowly, “Interested?”  
He looked back at Peggy, who nodded subtly, then back to Bucky, “Yeah, that sounds... that sounds great.”  
Bucky's trademark half-smile was back in place as he said, “It's settled then.” And, if Steve didn't know better, he could have sworn he saw Bucky wink.  
At half past eight, Steve changed out of his uniform and back into his button up and jacket. He grabbed his messenger bag and met Bucky back out in the diner, where they both waved at Peggy before heading onto the street. They walked in comfortable silence, almost close enough for their shoulders to touch. Steve was hyperaware of how fast his heart was pounding, almost painfully, in his chest. They had been walking for a few minutes when he realized that he had no clue where they were headed.  
“Bucky,” Steve said at last, “Where are we going?”  
“Not too much farther now,” he said, “Just a few more blocks. You doing ok?” he stopped, turning to Steve.  
“I'm fine, just curious. 'M not used to walking so far. My back gets kinda sore. I've got scoliosis,” he mumbled, ashamed to be admitting another one of his ailments.  
“Jeez,” Bucky replied as they resumed walking at a slightly slower pace, “Asthma, scoliosis... anything else wrong with ya?”  
“Where do you want me to start?” he asked bitterly, “The arrhythmia or the colorblindness?” he had taken a few more steps before he realized that Bucky had stopped again and was looking at him intensely, “What?”  
“Christ, Steve, I'm sorry. I'm a jerk. I didn't realize...” Bucky stammered, “There ain't nothing wrong with you. I mean... you just got more things that make you stronger on the inside.”  
They began walking again, letting the subjects of Steve's ailments drop. But, Steve couldn't get Bucky saying “there ain't nothing wrong with you” out of his head. No one had ever said that to him before. Usually people would hear about all his health problems and treat him like glass, saying that because there were things wrong with him they'd go easy. Even Peggy, bless her, sometimes acted that way. But Bucky treated him as an equal, resting a strong hand easily on Steve's small shoulder and joking as they continued the last few blocks. Steve found that he would never tire of the sound of Bucky's laughter. It was infectious, almost causing him to need a puff from his inhaler. When they reached their destination, Steve was speechless. He had never been to a fight before so he had no clue that there would be crowds of people waiting outside the door to get in. The smell of sweat, alcohol, and smoke seemed to be built right into the building and Steve had to take his inhaler before Bucky could lead him through the crowd.  
"You let me know if this is too much. Don't wanna kill my biggest fan," Bucky chuckled. Steve nodded, then flushed scarlet as Bucky grabbed his hand and pulled him to his side. He couldn't help but notice how well he fit against Bucky's hip as they made their way swiftly to the back door that was reserved for the fighters. "You get the best seat in the house, Stevie," he said, squeezing Steve's shoulder.  
The back area smelled like sweat and blood and there were beat up men from wall to wall. Some were warming up on a punching bag, some were knelt in prayer, and others were passed out on benches with slabs of meat over their bruised faces. A man with straw colored hair motioned for Bucky. When he caught sight of Steve, his hands flashed through the air and it took Steve only a moment to recognize the motions as sign language.  
'Who's the punk?' The blonde man signed.  
Before Bucky could lift his hands, Steve stepped in front of him and signed, 'This punk's name is Steve.'  
In unison, the blonde boxer signed while Bucky asked, "You sign?"  
Steve gestured to his left ear and signed as he explained, "I got scarlet fever when I was a year old and lost all of my hearing on this side and 25% on the other side. I signed for a long time. Now I listen carefully and read lips."  
The blonde boxer stepped forward and signed, 'I'm Clint. Left me hearing aid home 'cause I don't want it broken in a fight. Lost my hearing after a good knock to the head that popped an eardrum. It's also just too damn loud here." Clint smiled and continued, 'You the kid Buck helped yesterday?' Steve nodded. Clint raised his eyebrows in interest and exchanged a meaningful glance with Bucky, 'Nice to meet you, Steve. We'll probably see each other again. This one,' he nodded at Bucky, 'he's gotta crush on ya.' Clint winked and sauntered off, leaving Bucky stammering and Steve with his mouth agape.  
"I'll kill that deaf bastard, I swear," Bucky snarled, "Just ignore him, Stevie. He was joking."  
But Steve couldn't stop grinning. If Bucky's reaction was anything to go by, Clint hadn't been joking. "So, when do you fight?" He asked.  
"Any minute now," Bucky said, taking off his leather jacket, "So, you should stay here. Clint should be back in a few. He always wins with few blows to the face. He'll take you where you need to go." Silence stretched on between them.   
"A crush, huh?" Steve asked quietly.  
"Maybe," Bucky said. He looked at Steve and, for the first time, a blush had begun to spread over his cheeks, "So..."  
"So..." Steve replied, his blush coloring all the way down his neck to his chest, "Good luck, Buck." He did not miss the way Bucky bit his bottom lip nervously or how he leaned towards Steve just a little. But then Clint was back, bloody nose and all, and pulling Steve back towards the stadium. He waved at Bucky before being led into a small booth right beside the ring.  
'Should be a good fight,' Clint signed.  
'I've never seen a live fight,' Steve responded, 'only listened on the radio.'  
"Next in the ring," a loud voice announced. Steve looked around and saw a middle aged man with a megaphone, "Logan, the Wolverine and Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier!"  
'Buck's gonna pummel this guy,' Clint smirked.  
When Bucky stepped out into the ring, his whole demeanor had changed. The swagger had transformed into pure intimidation. The lanky brown hair was tied back into a ponytail and his shoulders looked broader as he stepped forward to face his opponent. Steve could feel heat coiling deep in his core. It didn't help that his bare torso was the epitome of fit, with abs and muscles that looked like sculpted marble. There was also one noticeable difference besides Bucky's fighting attitude. Bracketing his left arm was a metal brace that held his elbow at a locked 90 degree angle. Through the brace, Steve could see a tattoo of a red star on Bucky's shoulder. Steve was entranced by the sight of him.  
As the bell rang to start the match, Steve reached into his bag and grabbed a pencil and his sketchbook. When he looked back up, Bucky had already gotten a few punches in and the Wolverine was sporting a bloody nose and lip. As the match continued, Bucky dodged the other boxer's blows, staying light on his feet. It also didn't take long to notice that, when Bucky dealt blows of his own, it was solely with his right arm. Even with the handicap, Bucky was the fastest, hardest hitter. Steve couldn't take his eyes off him, sketching the look of concentration on Bucky's face, taking extra care with the furrow of his brows and the bow of his full lips. Bucky took one blow to the face that caused him to stumble backwards, but he dove back in, blood spilling from a cut on his cheekbone. Steve looked at the clock. The first round was almost over.   
"Go Bucky! You can do it!" Steve shouted. Maybe he imagined it, but Steve could have sworn that Bucky shot him a smug smile.  
With thirty seconds on the clock, Bucky began packing in his hits. The Wolverine stumbled after a particularly hard right hook and then was pounded to the ground by repetitive blows to the stomach and face. Once he was down, the buzzer went off, signaling the end of the round. The referee went over to the other fighter and, since he was out cold, Bucky was declared the winner.  
Steve got to his feet and threw a fist in the air, shouting until he was hoarse. The grin Bucky wore could not have been wider as he stepped out of the ring and back into the fighter's den. Clint looked over Steve's shoulder and saw the drawing in his hand. Tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention, Clint pointed at the drawing.  
'That's really good,'  
He looked down at the unfinished sketch. It was only about half of Bucky's face. 'Thanks,' Steve motioned, 'I can do better. He's just so wonderful.'  
'You got it bad, man,' Clint raised an eyebrow.  
Steve blushed, 'Yeah, I guess I do.'  
'Let's go, lover boy,' Clint grabbed his hand and led him to the back.  
Bucky was already changed back into his street clothes, leather jacket and all. The metal brace was nowhere or be seen. He clapped Steve on the back lightly when he came near enough, "So, how'd you like it?"  
"Are you kidding?" Steve exclaimed, "It was amazing! You were amazing! Thank you."  
Bucky beamed, "I don't know about you, but I'm starved. I can walk you back to the diner if you want, Stevie."  
It was only then that Steve realized how hungry he was, "Yeah, I'm pretty famished."  
'Clint,' Bucky signed, poking him in the back of the head to get his attention, 'you coming?'  
Clint looked between Bucky and Steve a couple of times before signing, 'No way. You two need some alone time. Maybe another night.'  
'Ok,' Bucky replied, 'See you!'  
'Have fun,' Clint winked again and Bucky rolled his eyes.  
Steve waved as he and Bucky stepped back out onto the street. The temperature had dropped severely in the twenty minutes they'd been inside. Bucky noticed Steve pulling his jacket tighter around himself and put his right arm around him, tugging him closer. Bucky radiated heat and Steve stopped shivering immediately.  
"Thanks for coming," Bucky muttered softly.  
"Thanks for asking," Steve said, "Do you mind if I ask you something?"  
Bucky shrugged, "Ask away, doll."  
A shiver completely unrelated to the cold ran through Steve at the pet name, "Your arm. I've listened to dozens of matches over the radio. Why don't they ever talk about your arm? What happened to it?"  
Bucky's smile faltered just a little, "They don't talk about it 'cause I tell 'em not to. And... As to what happened... That's a long story. I'll tell you another time. All you need to know is that I have nerve damage. Can't really straighten the thing and my tricep spasms something terrible when I try. Don't have a lot of strength in those fingers neither. So, I fight right handed. The brace is just so I don't get cocky and go for a punch with that arm and end up doin' more damage to myself."  
They passed the rest of the walk in comfortable silence. When they were in front of the diner, Steve pulled Bucky into the alley beside the building and out of the light.  
"What are you doing?" Bucky asked chuckling.  
"Can't let anyone see," Steve said and, before Bucky could ask what that meant, Steve had stood up on his tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to the cut on Bucky's cheekbone. He heard Bucky's breath hitch and smiled, his lips brushing over Bucky's jaw as he settled back down onto his heels.  
Bucky raised his right hand and placed his palm on Steve's face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. He licked his lips nervously, entranced by how red Steve's lips had gotten just from those small kisses. Placing his other hand carefully on Steve's other cheek, Bucky dipped his head and pressed his lips firmly, but gently to Steve's. Bucky felt Steve wrap his arms around his waist and pulled him closer. Steve's heart was hammering and he felt like he couldn't breathe, but for once it wasn't in the bad way.  
When they pulled apart, both of them were flushed and breathing hard. Steve grabbed Bucky's right hand and kissed the bruises and scrapes over his knuckles. He then took Bucky's left hand gently in his own, brushing his mouth softly over the back and his wrist. He looked up at Bucky's eyes, "There ain't nothing wrong with you, Buck."  
Bucky gave him a toothy grin, "You are somethin' else, Stevie."  
Even though he had to let go of Bucky's hand as they entered the diner, Steve felt lighter than air. Peggy shot him a bright smile as he took a seat opposite of Bucky in the booth. It had been the best night of Steve's life and he hoped that there would he many more like this in his future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be Bucky and Steve's relationship blossoming and maybe you'll find out the origin of Bucky's nerve damage. It will be in the next two chapters for sure. There will also be more drawings and snarky Clint and supportive Peggy.


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky stopped by the diner every night from then on. Sometimes he'd come in for Steve to wait on him and they would talk when it got slow. Other times, Bucky would pick Steve up at closing and walk him home or to a fight. This became their routine and Steve loved every minute of it. Any second he could be with Bucky was a good one. He only wished he didn't have to work so much. Then, maybe, he and Bucky would be able to see one another during the day. He also wished they could go out and hold hands and go on real dates. But both of them knew that most people were not so friendly to people like them and it could be dangerous. So, on the occasions when they would exchange kisses, it was in the alley behind the diner. Bucky never went into Steve's apartment, nor invited Steve to his. In all respects he had been a perfect gentleman. But it was starting to get on Steve's nerves.  
A week after their first meeting, they found themselves at Steve's apartment. He hadn't had to work until the diner closed so it was only ten in the evening. Bucky leaned against the doorframe as Steve fumbled for his keys. When he had finally gotten them out and opened the door, Steve sighed and turned to Bucky, "I really appreciate you walking me home, Buck."  
Bucky smiled sweetly, "It's no trouble. I bet you're tired so, I guess I'll get going." He stooped to kiss Steve's cheek, but before he could turn to leave Steve had grabbed him lightly around his forearm.  
"Wait," he murmured. When Bucky looked around at him, he saw that Steve's deep, blue eyes were wide and pleading. "Would you like to come in?"  
Swallowing thickly, Bucky nodded and let Steve lead him gently inside. Once over the threshold, Steve placed his hands on Bucky's chest, pushed him up against the closed door, and sealed their lips together with as much force as he could muster. Bucky moaned into Steve's mouth, letting his tongue slide over Steve's bottom lip. Steve opened his mouth and slid his tongue over Bucky's, relishing the heat of his mouth. He grazed his teeth over Bucky's lips, causing another groan to escape him. Wrapping his good arm around Steve's waist, Bucky hoisted him up and Steve wrapped his legs around Bucky's waist. Bucky carded his left hand through Steve's soft, golden hair.  
"Oh, fuck, Steve," Bucky gasped as Steve's mouth moved over his jaw and throat.  
Steve could feel his cock straining in his trousers and, when he bucked up against Bucky's stomach and heard his breath hitch, Steve knew he could feel how hard he was too. He licked a long stripe from Bucky's collarbone all the way up to his ear. "Bed... Now," He whispered, feeling a shiver run through Bucky at his words.  
Without letting Steve down, Bucky strode through the apartment and sat down in the bed, placing Steve squarely on his lap. Now Steve could feel how hard Bucky was too. It made a dull flush begin to creep up his chest and neck. Noticing this, Bucky unbuttoned Steve's shirt one handed and threw it to the floor. He placed open mouth kisses against Steve's chest, "God, baby doll, I love when you blush all over. You look so pretty when you do and I... I just wanna fuck that pretty little ass when I see it."  
Something close to a whine escaped Steve. Bucky's dirty mouth only served in making Steve more desperate for him. "Bucky," he sighed, starting to undo Bucky's shirt with fumbling fingers as Bucky kissed up the side of his neck, "Yes. Bucky please." Once Bucky's shirt had been discarded as well, Steve raked his hands over the muscled plains of Bucky's chest.  
Putting his hand under Steve's chin, Bucky pressed their lips together once more. This slowed the pace from frantic, to a more deliberate and passionate one. Bucky reached between them and unbuttoned Steve's pants, lifting him up slightly to pull them down. Steve heard how hard Bucky was breathing as he freed Steve's cock from the confines of his underwear. "Christ," Bucky whispered, almost reverently, "You're so beautiful baby doll." When Steve averted his eyes, Bucky placed his hand against his cheek and turned Steve's face back to him, "I mean it, Stevie. And you're mine."  
Steve nodded, "Yours," he echoed.  
Bucky slid his right hand around the back of Steve's neck, gripping the short hairs at the base of his skull. He held Steve's head back, throat exposed so he could kiss it with more ease. Tentatively, he wrapped his left hand around Steve's shaft, stroking lightly. Bucky ran his thumb over the head of Steve's cock, spreading the pre-cum and making Steve moan. Willing his hand to work, Bucky tightened his grip slightly and sped up the pace of his strokes. He listened carefully to the speed of Steve's breathing, not wanting to cause an asthma attack. After a few seconds, however, a spasm ran down Bucky's arm and pain shot through his wrist and fingers. He stopped suddenly and hissed in discomfort, "Dammit," he closed his eyes tightly, his arm shaking uncontrollably.  
Steve was at a loss for what to do, "Bucky? What do you need? What can I do?"  
Bucky's eyes were still shut, his face screwed up in pain. When Steve tried to run his fingers through Bucky's hair comfortingly, he jerked away and snapped, "Just get the fuck away from me!"  
Steve hopped off of Bucky's lap as if he'd been burned, pulling up and redoing the button on his pants. Bucky hunched over, his head on his knees and began to take deep breaths. His back rose and fell quickly and then, as Steve watched, it began to slow to a normal pace. Then, his whole body began to tremble and Steve realized that Bucky was crying. Steve approached slowly and sat down next to Bucky. He reached out one hand and let it trail softly down Bucky's spine and, this time, he did not flinch away.  
After a minute or two, Bucky straightened up again. His eyes were rimmed with red and swollen. There were tear tracks on his cheeks and he, when he looked at Steve, his eyes were filled with sadness and embarrassment. "Steve..." He started, then stopped, dropping his gaze to his feet, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell like that. It's just, I don't like people to see me like that." Bucky picked up his shirt and got to his feet, "I'll get going."  
"Bucky, no," Steve begged, "it's ok. You were in pain."  
"Still no excuse to talk to you like that. You deserve someone who isn't broken," Bucky muttered.  
Steve let out a derisive laugh, "I could say the same to you. I risk a heart attack or an asthma attack every time I step out my door. I'm broken too, Buck. And how dare you tell me what I deserve. I know what I want," he strode forward, grabbed Bucky's shoulder and spun him around so they were face to face, "I want you. Broken bits too."  
Letting out a soft whimper, Bucky gathered Steve in his arms and buried his face in the crook of Steve's shoulder. Steve nuzzled against Bucky's chest, breathing in the smell of his cologne. "You're so good, Steve. Too good for me."  
"Nah," Steve whispered, but he was pretty sure that Bucky didn't hear him, "Please stay," he said a little louder. He looked up into Bucky's sad eyes, "I want you to hold me as I fall asleep."  
Bucky nodded, scooping Steve up and carrying him back over to the bed. He laid Steve out on his back and began to unbutton his pants again. Steve's cock twitched with interest as Bucky's hand brushed over it. He pulled Steve's pants off in one swift motion and then took off his own, leaving them in only underwear. Steve squirmed under the covers and Bucky slid next to him. Turning to face Bucky, Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky's waist and leaned his face to Bucky's chest. Leaning down, Bucky kissed Steve chastely on the lips. Then, Steve kissed Bucky's chest, making his breath hitch slightly.  
"You're such a punk," Bucky murmured affectionately.  
"And you're a jerk," Steve responded, "Goodnight."  
Bucky sighed, lightly running his fingers over the twists and curves of Steve's spine, "Goodnight, baby doll."  
With the repetitive motion of Bucky's hand at his back and the rise and fall of Bucky's chest, it didn't take long for Steve to fall into a restful sleep.  
But he felt as though he awoke almost immediately. The sheets had been pulled off of him and he was shivering. He got up and searched for his shirt, finding it in a heap on the floor. When he turned back to his bed he was greeted with the most beautiful sight. Bucky was still sleeping soundly, his hair splayed over his face and the sheets down by his waist. It was too good for Steve to resist going to grab his sketchbook. He sat on his side of the bed, dictating the delicate curves and hard lines of Bucky's figure onto the page. He looked so peaceful as he slept and Steve was grateful that the grimace of pain he wore from last night was gone. He had felt so helpless the night before, in a way he hadn't felt for a long time. But he had also been afraid at Bucky's temper, although he knew Bucky would never hurt him. But it had reminded him too much of how his father would be fine one moment and then hitting his mother the next. But Bucky had not lashed out physically and Steve was happy for it.  
After an hour of meticulous sketching, Steve set down his book and pencil. He reached out and grabbed Bucky's left hand, treating it carefully as he lifted it to his lips. One by one, Steve kissed the fingertips, the heel, and the palm of his hand. Bucky didn't stir through all of it. Checking his clock, he saw that it was nine thirty in the morning. He had to be in to the diner by ten. So, Steve set to getting dressed. At quarter to, he was ready. He quickly left a note for Bucky, not wanting to wake or worry him and left.  
"Hey there," Peggy called as he walked in, the bell on the door chiming brightly. She looked him up and down, "you look as though you had a good night."  
"It ended up good, yeah," Steve said.  
"There were bad bits?" Peggy asked suspiciously, "If Bucky hurt you, I swear to god-"  
Steve quieted her with a look, "He didn't hurt me. There were just some complications. But I think it's passed. Peggy, I know I've only known him a week but... I think I love the guy."  
Peggy squinted at him, trying to tell if he was joking or not. She crossed her arms and strode towards him, giving him a motherly look that made his heart jump, "Steven Grant Rogers, I could've told you that when you met him a week ago." She giggled, making him let out a little laugh as well.

Bucky stirred slowly, not wanting to move from the warm spot he'd made for himself in the bed. When he opened his eyes, he saw that Steve was no longer beside him so he got up to search around the apartment. On the table in the kitchen, he found a note.  
Bucky,  
You were sound asleep and I didn't want to wake you. I went to the diner. I get out at 4 if you'd like to see one another then. Maybe we can grab a proper dinner for once.  
Have a good day,  
Steve  
He smiled. Steve was so considerate, even after he'd lost his temper last night. Absentmindedly, he flexed the fingers of his left hand. There was some pain, but not as much as there usually was. He still felt a pang of guilt when he thought of how he'd exploded at Steve the previous evening. It hadn't been Steve's fault and yet, he'd yelled anyway. It made him feel sick. He swore that he'd never grow up to be his father, that he'd never hurt the people he loved like that. He'd have to do something special for Steve this evening to make up for it and make sure it never happened again. He returned to the bed to pick up his clothes and noticed something lying out. Looking closer, he saw that it was a sketch pad and there was a drawing that looked nearly finished. As he looked closer, Bucky gasped. It was a picture of him sleeping and it was so lifelike, Bucky felt like he could see himself breathing on the page. He took all the hardness that Bucky saw in himself and turned it into something graceful and beautiful. Bucky smiled. He was completely in love with this guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like the little bit of smut (that will get smuttier). Bucky calling Steve "doll" or "baby doll" is my weakness. How did you guys like the Bucky pov? Should I keep doing it?


	4. Chapter 4

"You're an idiot," Clint said, adjusting his hearing aid, "You almost walked out on the guy of your dreams because your arm twinged?"  
Bucky rolled his eyes. Sometimes he preferred when Clint was deaf. "It was more than a twinge and it wasn't just that. That... Rage was awful to feel around him. I never want to lose it like that and accidentally hurt Steve. Because, for once, you're fucking right. He is the guy of my dreams."  
Clint made kissing noises and clapped Bucky on the back, "So then, what's on the docket for tonight? A fancy restaurant? Flowers? Wine? A romantic body massage by the firelight?"  
"Jesus, man," Bucky took a long drag from his cigarette. He was trying to quit for Steve, but this was an emergency. He needed to plan a date, "It can't be too flashy, you know that."  
"Until you bring him home..." Clint replied in an annoying sing-song voice, "Then you bust out all the tricks."  
Bucky lit a new cigarette and inhaled deeply. He did want to bring Steve home tonight. He wanted to continue where they had left off the night before, without the arm disaster. The only thing was, his arm had not stopped aching since the attack last night and it had only gotten worse as the day progressed. He walked over to the kitchen table and picked up his brace. He appraised it briefly, then set it down. Unfortunately, Clint had noticed.  
"You are such a chicken shit," he said seriously, "You honestly think he's gonna care about your hardware. I'm pretty sure the only hardware he's concerned about is a little lower on your anatomy- HEY!" He jumped out of the way as Bucky threw a spoon at him. "Honestly, Bucky, I get it. The hearing aid was an adjustment on dates. But look at me now! I'm rolling in the ladies."  
Shaking his head, Bucky stripped off his shirt and fastened his brace, "You're right. I'm certainly not gonna be outdone by a dick like you- FUCK! I only threw a spoon!" The butter knife had only just missed his arm and embedded into the wall moulding.  
"You think that was close? Just think about if I had MEANT to hit you," Clint winked.  
The rest of the afternoon was spent in planning. Clint thought of a great place for dinner, uptown but not too expensive and away from the public, where they were less likely to be caught in a bad situation, "Just tell them you know me," he said. Bucky washed his hair and face three times to make sure he looked presentable for the evening. He knew Steve didn't mind his fighting bruises, but he didn't feel as though a face covered in dirt and dried blood would go over well for a real date. He slicked his hair back from his face and into a low ponytail and shaved his stubble. When he looked at himself, dressed in his Sunday best and all polished, he felt like a real gentleman in the first time in living memory.  
"You look like one of them rich types," Clint teased, "Your man will be mighty impressed."  
"I ain't nothing to be impressed with," Bucky muttered, "I just wanna make him smile."  
Clint made fake vomiting sounds, "I dunno if I like this newfound romanticism. You gone soft, Barnes."  
Bucky smirked, "Ya know, I don't think a little soft is too bad. When're you gonna get yourself a dame? What about... Uh... Who was that girl you saw last week?"  
"Natasha?" Clint clarified, "I like her. She's feisty. I'm hitting the town with her again tomorrow."  
"The judgement day has come!" Bucky exclaimed, "Clint Barton is going on a second date!"  
"Hush up, I could say the same about you."  
Bucky slung an arm around Clint's shoulder, "Aren't we a fine pair? Finally settling down with nice people. We owe to ourselves to have nice things in our lives, Clint." He walked to the mirror, straightened his collar, and sighed, "Nothing can ruin this night."

The day flew by for Steve. There was nonstop rush from 11-3:30 and both he and Peggy were swamped. By the time four o'clock rolled around, he was ready for a nap. But all of that changed when the chime on the door rang and Bucky walked in. Steve felt his jaw drop at the sight of him. He was dressed up in black church pants and, what Steve guessed, was a light blue button up dress shirt that made his eyes pop. Even with Steve's trouble with colors, the effect was stunning. He was completely clean shaven and his hair was slicked back and tied in a low ponytail. He looked like a young business man. Steve adored the way Bucky usually looked, but this change was a great look as well. Steve turned and saw that Peggy and a few other women in the diner had similar reactions to himself. All at once, Steve was heartily thankful that Bucky was all his.  
"Hey there, doll," Bucky purred, sauntering up to Steve, "You got anything planned for this evening?"  
Steve swallowed, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in his mouth, "Nothing that I can't cancel."  
"Well then," Bucky countered, offering his right arm, "I believe I have something for you to do tonight."  
Steve looked up at him with raised eyebrows as if to say, 'In public?' When all Bucky did was smile wider, his arm still offered, Steve said, "Lead on," and hooked his arm through Bucky's elbow. On the way out, they turned back to Peggy and waved. She blew them each a kiss as they made their way out the door and into town. "You are completely reckless," Steve said finally, when they were a few blocks down and headed into the subway station.  
"This is a shock to you?" Bucky replied, chuckling lightly, "I believe in have misrepresented myself if you didn't think I was a reckless shithead."  
"Oh, I knew you were a shithead," Steve mumbled.  
"Punk."  
"Jerk," Steve sighed, "It's just, that was dangerous, what you just did, making everything obvious like that."  
"I know," Bucky said quietly, "I... I just wanna show you off. But, for the rest of the evening I will be more discreet, I promise."  
Steve burrowed closer into Bucky's side, sliding under his arm so that it was hooked over his shoulder. "Not too discreet," He then slid an arm around Bucky's waist. That was when Steve felt something more solid than flesh beneath the sleeve of Bucky's dress shirt. He looked up in astonishment, "Your brace?"  
"Yeah," Bucky licked his lips, "Figured if I was gonna behave myself tonight, I might as well keep the pain to a minimum. Do you... Is it bad?"  
"God no," Steve said hurriedly, "Everything about you is perfect. Metal and all." There was a short pause and then Steve said, so quietly that Bucky almost missed it, "And you don't have to behave too much tonight."  
When Bucky looked down at Steve, he saw that he was flushed red. Cheeks, neck, and the little bit of collarbone that Bucky could see had gone scarlet. Bucky took a deep breath, trying to will the hard-on, that had been spurred by Steve's words and change of color, back into submission. He loved it when Steve blushed. It made Bucky want to strip him down and kiss every patch of pink he could find. And he had a nagging suspicion that Steve was a full body blusher and that if he spread those little legs wide, he would find even more delicious pink. Bucky could not wait until after dinner. Throwing caution to the wind, he swooped down and pressed a swift kiss to Steve's unsuspecting lips. Steve gave a little yelp of surprise but leaned into it all the same. It was going to be a wonderful night.  
They took the train uptown and found the restaurant that Clint had suggested. It was a mom and pop Italian place and Clint swore on their marinara sauce. There were only four others inside besides them, and they were both couples. Steve couldn't help but smile when he saw the atmosphere. When he'd suggested proper dinner in his note, he hadn't meant for Bucky to pull out all the stops and take him on a date. He honestly just thought that they should have some time together that wasn't at a fight, walking home, or Steve take Bucky's order. It seemed as though Bucky had felt the same, given how elaborately he'd prepared for this evening. It made Steve's heart swell and the feeling of absolute adoration and love for Bucky intensified.  
When the owners, an older Italian couple, heard that they were friends with Clint, they quickly escorted them to a booth in the back, where they were out of sight of the rest of the customers.  
"You didn't hafta do this," Steve said as they took their seats.  
"I know. I just thought I oughta," Bucky replied casually, "You mean so much to me and I wanna make you feel special. I love to make you smile, Stevie."  
"You're the best, Buck. Honest," Steve smile widely, reaching across the table and grabbing Bucky's left hand lightly. Bucky squeezed his fingers gently and smiled back.  
"Ya know," Bucky said, "I never wore the brace outside a fight before, let alone on a date. Hardly anyone even knows I got it."  
"How does it feel to wear it out and about?"  
"Weird," Bucky observed, "but nice 'cause I know you ain't judging me for it. Now, what do you want? I don't know about you, but I'm starving!"  
They ended up sharing a family sized plate of spaghetti. Since Steve didn't really eat much and Bucky could pack it away, they were pretty evenly matched. At one point, they both had ahold of both sides of the same noodle. They both smiled and leaned forward, each slurping in the noodle like a tug of war, until their lips met in the middle. Any conversation or actual eating was finished after that point. Their mouths were too busy to do anything of importance.  
Bucky picked up the check ("I insist") and they headed out. They laughed and talked until they were just about at the subways station. Then, a voice called out that made them stop.  
"James!"  
Bucky froze in his tracks, causing Steve to halt as well. Looking at Bucky, he saw that his eyes had gone wide in panic and his breathing had sped up considerably. Bucky turned around to face who had called to them. It was an older gentleman, his hair silver and his face weathered with age. But there was something familiar about his eyes. They were almost the exact same shape and color as Bucky's.  
"What do you want?" Bucky asked through gritted teeth. He gripped Steve's hand with his right, squeezing a little harder than was comfortable. Steve saw how the man's eyes flicked from their intertwined hands back to Bucky's face.  
"Is that any way to speak to your father, James?" The man asked. Steve saw Bucky flinch out of the corner of his eye.  
"You're not my father, Alexander," Bucky sneered, "You're a monster. Now, if you don't mind, we have to go-" he tried to drag Steve away, but Alexander spoke again, causing Bucky to stop.  
"Aren't you going to introduce me to your..." He faltered, "your friend?"  
Bucky looked from Steve to Alexander and back again, "He is none of your goddamn business you sonofa-" but Steve let go of Bucky's hand and stepped forward.  
"My name's Steve, sir," he said formally, extending his hand.  
"Ah, well, nice to meet you Steve. I'm Alexander Pierce," Alexander said, taking his hand and shaking it. His eyes may have looked like Bucky's but Steve noticed that they bore none of the kindness of his son, "James doesn't often introduce his company to me." He released Steve's hand and Steve scurried back to Bucky's side.  
"I don't have to do a fucking thing for you," Bucky sounded as though he were on the verge of tears, "We're going."  
"Very well," Alexander said coolly, "I wouldn't want to keep you. It was good to see you James. Nice to meet you, Steve."  
Without another word, Bucky walked off, dragging Steve behind him. They were walking so fast, that soon Steve felt his chest growing far too tight to be safe. He grabbed his inhaler out of his pocket, clutching it in his hand until they were on the subway. Then, he put it to his mouth and puffed twice. Bucky stared straight ahead and didn't say anything for almost the whole train ride downtown. A few stops before theirs, Bucky reached out and grasped Steve's hand again. He looked at his knees, "Your asthma okay?"  
"M'fine," Steve said, rubbing his thumb over Bucky's knuckles, "You okay?"  
"I hate that man," Bucky spat, "Fuck, I didn't even know he was still here. Shoulda known. Can't come home without some kind of reminder..."  
"You wanna talk about it?" Steve asked. Bucky shook his head and Steve gave his hand a squeeze, "Alright, but I'm here if you ever wanna. What would you like to do?"  
The corner of Bucky's mouth curled up in that famous half-smile. He leaned down and put his lips against Steve's ear, whispering, "I wanna take you home with me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut next chapter and a more thorough explanation of why Bucky hates his father!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all lovely smut. I didn't get to Bucky talking about his dad simply because I didn't want to ruin the mood. It'll happen in the next chapter.

Steve was practically buzzing out of his skin as they got off the subway and made their way up to street level. Bucky still had not let go of his hand. The electric current that flowed between them was filled with unspoken longing. The encounter with Bucky's father seemed to have made Bucky more sure of what he wanted. And, if his confession on the subway was any indication, what he wanted was Steve. They didn't speak as they reached Bucky's apartment building and started up the stairs, but they didn't need to. Bucky unlocked the door to his place and pulled Steve in, both of them giggling like children. As soon as the door clicked shut, their mouths were on one another. Their kisses were sloppy and haphazard, lips going anywhere they could reach and teeth clacking clumsily, but it didn't matter. The time for being shy was over.  
Reaching out blindly, since his eyes were shut and his lips were preoccupied with Bucky's throat, Steve began to unbutton Bucky's dress shirt. He slid the sleeve on Bucky's left arm as carefully as he could over the brace before casting it in a heap on the floor. His delicate fingers resumed their mission from the previous evening of tracing Bucky's chest. A moan of pleasure sounded in Bucky's throat and, reluctantly, he pulled away to look into those beautiful blue eyes. He offered his right hand, which Steve took, and led him through the apartment and to the bed. Bucky sat on the edge of the mattress, spread his legs, and pulled Steve so that he was standing between them. Then, slowly, he slid Steve's suspenders from his shoulders and relieved him of his shirt.  
When Steve was bare chested, Bucky leaned forward and put his mouth over one of Steve's nipples, swirling his tongue around it and eliciting small whimpers from the blonde. Steve threaded his fingers through Bucky's hair as Bucky's teeth grazed against his chest. "Bucky..." He gasped when Bucky began to pay attention to his other nipple, "Buck, let me touch you." Steve grasped Bucky by the shoulders and pushed him onto his back. Looking up through his eyelashes, Steve crawled up between Bucky's legs and began to undo the clasp on his pants.  
When Steve's delicate fingers brushed over the bulge of his cock, Bucky let out an obscene moan. He lifted his hips, shedding his pants as Steve freed Bucky's cock from the confines of his underwear. Steve licked his lips, ducking down and putting his mouth around the tip. Bucky's back arched dramatically and he looked down to watch as Steve took him all the way down to the hilt.  
"Baby doll," Bucky groaned, taking that golden hair between his fingers, "you feel so good. Your mouth, Stevie... Fuck." He pulled Steve's hair a little harder, unable to stop more moans from escaping him.  
Steve hummed, his lips vibrating around the thickness of Bucky's cock. He had taken him so far into his mouth that his nose was buried in the wiry hairs that rested between Bucky's hips. Steve began to bob his head up and down, employing his tongue whenever he could, being sure that he could still breathe. The last thing he wanted was to have an asthma attack in the middle of this. The taste of salty precum was heavenly in his mouth and Steve never wanted to stop. But, all too soon, he could feel his chest growing tight. So, he slid up with a pronounced pop, doing his best to smile seductively up at Bucky.  
"Get up here," Bucky ordered. Not needing to be told twice, Steve kissed his way up Bucky's chest and throat before placing his mouth squarely over Bucky's. Steve felt himself grow harder as Bucky's erection pressed insistently into his hip.  
"God, Buck," Steve whispered, grinding his hips down into Bucky's, "I want you so bad."  
Bucky gasped as Steve grinded against him, feeling the stiffness of Steve's cock through the fabric of his trousers. "Yeah, baby?" He felt Steve nod into his shoulder as his lips sucked over Bucky's pulse point. He slid his hand down Steve's back and over the swell of his ass, gripping it firmly. The whimper that left Steve went straight to Bucky's cock, making it twitch against Steve's thigh. Flipping them over as gently as he could, Bucky hovered over Steve's slight frame, taking in the intense blush that spread over the blonde's chest. He then began to kiss all the pink splotches on Steve's face and down his neck and sternum. "Told you I love it when you blush, baby doll." He continued down to Steve's belly button, dipping his tongue in and making Steve giggle and run his hands over Bucky's back.  
When Bucky had reached his waistband, Steve got very nervous. He put a hand on the brunette's shoulder and said, "W-wait."  
Ever the gentleman, Bucky immediately stopped nipping at Steve's stomach and straightened up to look him in the eyes, "You ok? You need me to stop or slow down?"  
"It's just..." Steve stammered, "that I uh- I've never..." He trailed off, blushed even more profusely.  
Bucky's eyes widened as he understood, "You want me to-" he made to move off the bed but Steve grabbed his wrist.  
"No," Steve insisted, "I want to. Just thought you- you should know," he blurted out.  
A sweet smile spread across Bucky's face. He gently laid Steve back out beneath him, kissing his full lips tenderly, "Don't worry, baby doll," he whispered, kissing Steve's nose, "I got you." He locked eyes briefly with Steve before ducking down again and lavishing kisses all over the skinny boy's stomach. While his mouth was preoccupied, Bucky's good hand made quick work of Steve's fly, pulling his pants down as efficiently as he could with one hand. For the most part, he kept his braced arm over to the side. Steve reached out and gently intertwined their fingers. Bucky sighed in satisfaction, slipping Steve's underwear down his thighs and taking in the sight of his erection. Steve's cock was flushed and dripping precum from the slit. It made Bucky lick his lips in anticipation, then he stuck out his tongue to lick a long stripe from base to tip. Steve shuddered, putting the hand that wasn't holding Bucky's left into the thick locks of Bucky's hair, thoroughly dismantling the gel that was holding it slick.  
Without another word, Bucky took Steve into his mouth with a throaty groan that Steve felt in his entire body. The heat of Bucky's mouth was so intoxicating, Steve could hardly keep his noises down. Each time Steve's cock hit the back of his throat, Bucky made a soft noise of pleasure. He gripped Steve's bony hip with his right hand and squeezed Steve's hand as hard as he could with his left as he bobbed his head faster and faster, loving how Steve squirmed beneath him.  
"B-Bucky," Steve gasped, feeling his stomach tighten, "I don't wanna cum yet."  
Letting Steve's cock slide out of his mouth, Bucky slithered back up Steve's body and kissed him hungrily. When he pulled back, Steve saw that Bucky's pupils were so dilated that his eyes looked almost black, "Turn over," Bucky purred.  
Steve nodded and obeyed quickly, setting himself on his hands and knees. Bucky draped himself over Steve's back, kissing the bumps of Steve's spine tenderly. As Bucky's cock brushed against the cleft of Steve's ass, the blonde moaned and threw his head back. Taking advantage of his exposed throat, Bucky nipped the skin of Steve's jaw and as close as he could get to his Adam's apple. Kissing back down to Steve's tailbone, Bucky bit down firmly on the fullness of Steve's ass, causing him to let out a surprised gasp.  
Parting Steve's cheeks, Bucky was pleasantly greeted by the fact that, yes, Steve was indeed a full body blusher. His ass and hole were just as pink as the rest of him. Unable to help himself, Bucky leaned forward and pressed the flat of his tongue against Steve's pretty pink hole.  
The noise that escaped the blonde's was a mixture of a surprised squeak and a whine of pleasure, "Bucky," he exhaled, "Christ, Bucky."  
The sound of his name coming from Steve's mouth like that made Bucky ache. He continued to lap at Steve, loosening him up as much as he could with his tongue. The noises coming from Steve became more and more breathy as Bucky's tongue prodded further and further into him.  
"You ok, baby?" Bucky asked, concerned for Steve's lungs.  
"Mmhm," he answered, sounding completely wrecked, his arm as and legs shaking from the stimulation.  
Bucky grabbed Steve around the middle and lifted him as though he were nothing, setting him down so that he straddled Bucky as Bucky resumed his position on his back. Reaching over to his bedside table, he pulled out a jar of Vaseline and a rubber.  
"Can I take off your brace?" Steve asked softly, "I wanna feel your skin."  
Nervously, Bucky nodded, watching the reverence Steve used to unfasten the brace, making sure to caress the skin beneath the metal, and setting it aside. He then laid down on Bucky's chest, since his weight was almost negligible to Bucky's strength, and pressed their lips together in a slow but passionate kiss. While Steve was busy kissing him, Bucky slicked up the fingers of his left hand, letting it wander down to the cleft of Steve's ass, circling his hole with his index finger. Slowly, Bucky pressed in, slipping his finger past the tight ring of muscle, making Steve whimper against his lips. He pumped his finger in and out gently, until Steve was practically begging for another. As Bucky slid the next finger in, Steve panted against the crook of his neck.  
"Buck," Steve pleaded, "please."  
"Please what, Stevie?" Bucky responded, pressing into a spot that made Steve's whole body spark, "Tell me what you want." He smoothed the fringe off of Steve's sweaty forehead with his right hand.  
Steve kissed Bucky's temple, then his cheekbone and pushed himself back on Bucky's fingers with a groan, "I want," he stuttered, eyes closed and lips parted, "I want you... You to fuck me."  
"Oh, Stevie," Bucky sighed, "Baby doll, say that again."  
Meeting Bucky's gaze with his wide blue eyes, Steve murmured, "Bucky, I want you to fuck me."  
As Bucky slipped his fingers out of Steve, the blonde moaned at the loss. As quick as he could, Bucky grabbed the rubber, but before he could open it, Steve took it from him. He watched as Steve opened it and, with slender fingers, rolled it down Bucky's length. He then took a generous amount of Vaseline and slicked Bucky up carefully. It was all Bucky could do not to cum immediately from Steve's touch. He gripped Steve's hip with his right hand, his left resting easily on Steve's thigh, and positioned the blonde above him. Then, slowly, carefully, Steve sank down onto him. Bucky couldn't help but look down and watch as his cock disappeared into Steve inch by inch until he was fully seated on Bucky's hips. They were both panting so profusely now, that it took them a full two or three minutes to let their heart rates and breathing return to normal.  
Having Bucky inside him was so amazing, Steve felt as though it could have been a dream. He felt so full and complete and, when he finally began to move, the feeling only intensified. If he hadn't known that he was in love before, he certainly knew it now. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with this man.  
Bucky began to roll his hips in time with Steve's movement, his cock brushing that same electric spot inside of Steve. The sensation of Steve, hot and tight around him and panting, flushed above him, was enough to make Bucky's release begin to creep up on him. Then there were the noises, small grunts and whimpers, that Steve made that sent little sparks of arousal through his body. All of this only solidified the fact that he was in love with Steve Rogers. Their bodies fit in a way he had never felt before.  
"Baby... Baby doll," Bucky muttered nonsensically, "you're so good, feel so perfect. So fucking perfect for me, Stevie," praises and cuss words spilled out of his mouth, with no rhyme or reason as his orgasm neared.  
"Ah, Bucky," Steve breathed, "Fuck, touch me. God, want you to cum in me, please."  
With his right hand, Bucky took a hold of Steve's cock and began to stroke in rhythm with the rise and fall of Steve's hips. Together, their pace quickened until it was at fever-pitch. "Stevie, I'm gonna..." Bucky mumbled. Steve merely nodded, his jaw slack and eyes shut. With a low groan, Bucky felt his release erupt in his core, Steve spasming around him and shooting all over his hand and chest at the same time.  
Steve dismounted Bucky and fell next to him on the mattress, a slight wheeze rattling in his chest. Picking up on this, Bucky got up, removing the rubber and tossing it in the trash. He rummaged in Steve's jacket for his inhaler and handed it to him. While Steve puffed twice, Bucky cleaned his chest and refastened his brace. He then took his spot next to Steve on the bed.  
"You all right?" Steve asked, concerned, looking at Bucky's brace.  
"I'm good, just a little sore. And... M'not so terrified about wearing it around you," Bucky admitted, "is that ok?"  
Steve rolled onto his side, throwing an arm over Bucky's chest and kissing his jaw, "Of course it is. I love everything about you..."  
There was a long silence, Bucky taking in what Steve had said. Had he said he loved him? Was it an accident? Could Steve, this perfect, good, person love someone like him? He really hoped so. It was only when he heard Steve's deep breathing that he realized that he blonde had fallen asleep. Pulling up the sheets to cover them, Bucky nuzzled closer to the smaller man, his chin fitting snuggly over the top of his feathery blonde hair. Kissing Steve's forehead, Bucky whispered, "I love you too," and fell into a restful sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some serious topics in this chapter: mentions of abuse and prostitution, as well as some derogatory terms used. Things get sort of happy at the end but Bucky's father isn't gone for good.

For such a small person, Steve was sure a furnace, Bucky thought as he awoke to the sunlight streaming through his window. There was a sharp pain running down the entirety of his left arm. It seemed that it was gonna be one of those days. And with the meeting with Alexander so fresh in his mind... Bucky really needed a smoke. He looked over to his side and saw Steve, still sleeping soundly. He should probably call Peggy to see if he had to work. He would really love to not have to disturb Steve, he looked so angelic, even with the small stream of saliva that had pooled around his mouth. Carefully, he ran his fingers through those blonde tresses and kissed Steve on the cheek. Bucky pulled on his underwear and his pants before moving to the phone. He found the note with Peggy's number that she'd given him a few days after he and Steve had met. Hopefully she hadn't left for the diner yet.  
"Hello?" She answered on the second ring.  
"Hi Peggy. It's Bucky," he said, trying to keep his voice quiet.  
"Bucky?" Her voice grew panicked, "What is it? Is something wrong with Steve?"  
"No, no, nothing like that," he assured her, "it's just, he stayed the night last night and I wasn't sure when and if he had to work today."  
Bucky could hear the smile in Peggy's voice when she answered, "It's Sunday, so, he's not scheduled. You don't have to worry about it."  
"Ok," he said, "Thanks, Peggy. You're a great gal, you know? He's lucky to have you."  
"He's lucky to have you too," she answered kindly, "You make him so happy. He loves you, you know."  
Bucky smiled, "I may have gathered that. I love him too, Peggy. I never had anything or anyone I cared about as much as him. I would never do anything to hurt him, I hope you know that."  
"I may have gathered," she laughed, "Well, don't leave him alone in that bed of yours. I'll probably see you later."  
"Yeah... Yeah, thanks Peggy," Bucky said. After he heard the click of the other line, he dialed Clint.   
"H'llo?" Clint answered groggily.  
"Clint, I had the best night last night. Thank you so much for that restaurant suggestion. It was perfect!" Bucky gushed.  
"Bucky?" He said, sounding a little annoyed, "Why the hell are you whispering? I can barely understand you."  
"Because I have a little blonde man fast asleep in my bed, you idiot," Bucky hissed, "And... You'll never guess who I saw last night. Alexander."  
"Your father?" Clint sounded much more awake now, "Fuck. How did that go?"  
"Same as always. Passive aggressive and he looked at me like I was lower than dirt. But Steve... Fuck, Clint, he's so amazing..."  
"I don't wanna hear about the sexcapades," Clint cut in, "How did Steve react to Alexander? Did you tell him?"  
Bucky chewed on his bottom lip for a second, "No, I didn't want to ruin the mood with that. But I'm gonna. I ain't gonna keep it from him. Don't see how I could."  
"Might wanna do it sooner rather than later," There was a strange rustling that Bucky could hear over the line, "Look, Buck, I'm kinda busy. Tell your guy and let me know how that goes."  
"Clinton Barton," Bucky said in mock outrage, "Is there someone over there?"  
"Maybe it's none of your goddamn business, Barnes," Clint said through clenched teeth.  
"Is it your fiery redhead? Natasha?" He asked.  
There was silence and then, "Shut up," and then a click as the line went dead.  
Bucky chuckled. Good for Clint, he thought. He looked back around at his bed, where Steve was still out like a light. The pain in his arm had not dulled at all. He tried to flex his fingers but stopped as the pins and needles feeling shot up to his elbow. "Damn," he muttered, rolling his shoulder and wincing in pain. He wasn't sure how he was gonna fight when he could barely think through the pain. He really needed a cigarette.  
Steve stretched and yawned, feeling the most rested he had felt in a few days. Golden light was falling through the window of Bucky's apartment. Steve kept his eyes closed for a few more moments, thinking about the night before. He could still feel Bucky all over him: his lips, his hands, and how he had moved in him, how they moved together. Turning over, Steve saw that Bucky was no longer beside him. He rolled over, grabbing his underwear and his shirt off the floor. He walked over to the small balcony, looked out, and saw Bucky standing there. He was shirtless and smoking. There was a small pile of burnt out cigarettes at his feet. He looked statuesque, his head turned profile and framed by the sun, hair mussed up from the previous night. Steve tiptoed back inside and grabbed a pencil and a napkin, then grabbed a good view of Bucky. Hastily, he sketched Bucky's profile, cigarette hanging from his mouth and furrow between his brows. It was sloppy and rushed, but it captured the scene quite nicely.  
Bucky inhaled deeply, then blew out a long stream of smoke as Steve snuck up next to him, "Good morning, Bucky," he said, putting a hand on Bucky's braced elbow.  
He gave a little jump, but when he turned and saw Steve, Bucky smiled, "G'morning to you too, doll." He leaned down and gave him a peck on the forehead, "I'll put this out," he gestured to his cigarette.  
"You don't gotta-" Steve started.  
"I really should," Bucky interjected, putting it out, "I only meant to smoke one and," he looked at the pile of six by his feet, "That didn't go as planned. What's that?" He pointed to the bunched up napkin in Steve's hand.  
"Oh," Steve said, smiling politely and spreading the napkin out on the banister, "It's you. You looked... Beautiful."  
Bucky took the napkin from him, taking a closer look, "Damn, Stevie, you're really good. I saw the one from the other morning... I don't really look like this."  
"But you do," Steve insisted, "Maybe you don't see it, but it's the truth."  
A sad smile crossed Bucky's face and he looked back out over the balcony, "James Buchanan Barnes Pierce."  
"Huh?" Steve asked.  
"That's my name," Bucky continued, "My full name. Bucky comes from Buchanan and Barnes was my mother's maiden name. You met my dad last night, so that's where Pierce comes from."  
"Ok," Steve said, a little confused, "Why are you telling me this? Not that I don't want to know, I do. Just, why now?"  
"Cause I'm not a good person, Steve, and I would have told you last night, but I was a little... Distracted. So, I'm gonna tell you now. Give you an out, if you want it." Steve said nothing, so Bucky went on, "My mama knew I was sweet on fellas. When I was five, I told her how when I got married, I was gonna have the best lookin' fella in Brooklyn. Someone who loved me as much as Pa loved her," his smile widened, despite the pained look on his face, "Alexander wasn't around much until she died, when I was eight."  
"I'm sorry, Buck," Steve said softly.  
Bucky shrugged, "After she died, Alexander caught me lookin' at guys my age and tanned my hide every time, tellin' me that it wasn't natural, that I would go to hell if I didn't cut it out. He would burn me with his cigarettes," Bucky held out his right arm, where Steve could see small circular scars, so old that you wouldn't even see them unless you looked, "So, I hid it..." He exhaled heavily, "I had this best friend, Christ, I can't even remember his name now. But we were together in my room one day, I was thirteen or so, playing cards. He was cheating, so I tackled him to the floor and we wrestled for a few minutes and then... We were kissin', hands all over. Then he walked in," Bucky's jaw was set and there was a glint of rage in his normally kind eyes.  
Steve's voice wavered slightly as he asked the question, "What did he do?" But as the words left his mouth, he was sure he wouldn't like the answer.  
"At first, nothing," Bucky said calmly, "just asked my friend to leave. Never saw him again. As soon," he cleared his throat, his voice breaking with the sound of unshed tears, "As soon as the front door was shut, he hit me with his belt buckle. He hit me across the face. My first broken nose was at the hands of my father. He dragged me into the basement and used his belt to tie me, my hands behind my back, to the radiator. He kept hittin' me, over and over, screamin' about how he didn't raise no fag and how my mama would have died a hundred times over knowin' what I was. And o'course, I had to open my mouth and tell him that she knew and she loved me anyway. He hit me so hard... And I fell just the wrong way... He stomped on my arm and broke it, just here," he pointed to the bone just below his shoulder, "Did you know improperly healed bones and too much long term pressure on the wrist, like from bein' hog-tied, can cause nerve damage?" Bucky's voice was bitter. He took a deep breath through his nose, "He left me down there for thirty-six hours, Steve. Bleedin' and broken in more ways than one."  
"None o'that was your fault, Buck," Steve said, tears falling down his face, "Your father's the horrible one, doin' that to his own son. How can you say you're a bad person when you didn't do nothin'?"  
Bucky clamped his eyes shut, looking more tortured than ever, "That's not all. When he let me out... I don't even know what came over me. We were halfway up the stairs when... I snapped," he opened his eyes and looked at Steve, "I attacked him, hit him so hard he fell down the stairs. I thought he was dead so... I ran. Got outta that house and never went back. Didn't even know he survived until I turned nineteen and came back here. Ran into him on the street. I was so fucking scared, Stevie. Thought he was gonna kill me. But he barely looked at me before moving on."  
"How did you survive on your own at thirteen?" Steve asked.  
Sighing, Bucky massaged the bridge of his nose, "I did what I had to. Men, women, anyone for the right price. And then, I started fighting. Clint found me and got me into training. The reason I'm so good at what I do is because I pretend that every person I hit is him. I want to fucking kill him. I inherited his temper and it scares the shit outta me. When I yelled at you, I was so fucking scared that I would lose it and hurt you," There were tears pouring down his face now, "I hurt people for a living and I like it. You deserve someone better than that, Stevie. I'm a monster. And you for sure deserved to know that before you and I... Fuck, I'm so sorry." He moved back to his bed and sat down, putting his head into his hands.  
Steve walked over and kneeled in front of Bucky. He ran his fingers through his long hair and kissed his forehead, "Oh love, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I don't know how it feels, my Pa never hit me, but he hit my Ma. So I understand how scary it is, to have someone like that in your house. You don't have to be afraid anymore. I may not be very big, but I will do everything I can to make sure he never hurts you again."  
"What about me, though?" Bucky sobbed, "I could snap and hurt you at any moment."  
Steve place his head onto Bucky's knees, "I trust you. You're not him."  
Bucky uncovered his face and ran his hand through Steve's hair, "You're such a punk, you know. I try and protect you for your own good and you won't let me. Same stubborn boy in the alleyway."  
Looking up at Bucky, Steve smiled, "You should know better than to talk me into anything, you jerk. I'm terribly obstinate. And anyway, if I hadn't been in that alley, I wouldn't have met you." He surged up and kissed Bucky firmly, "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered against Bucky's lips, "I'm with you 'til the end of the line."  
He pulled Steve up onto his lap, beginning to unbutton his shirt, "I'm so lucky to have you, baby doll."  
Smiling, Steve started undoing Bucky's slacks, "You bet your sweet ass you are."  
Both of them fell back into bed, laughing and touching each other. Needless to say, they didn't leave bed for the rest of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you wanna talk, come find me on tumblr (Livingonaprayerstiel)


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